That a terrible quarrel broke out among the Supreme Polemarch in the Achaean army...
Health and hygiene issues are inextricably linked with the occurrence of bad habits in children. Such examples include masturbation in children. Masturbation - artificial irritation of the genital organs - is especially harmful due to the detrimental effect on the development of the child’s body, on his condition nervous system. Such children are usually pale, with blue circles under their eyes, and sometimes with a slightly puffy face. The eyes lose their shine, the child hides them, there is no direct, open look. These children are lethargic, get tired quickly, are not interested in games or peers, and avoid the team and children's society. Long-term masturbation leads to mental retardation, dulling of memory, a sharp decrease in abilities and poor academic performance in schoolchildren, and in advanced cases - to serious mental illness.
The reasons for childhood masturbation may be the following:
1. Pinworms. Not everyone knows that worms, and especially some of their types, often cause bad habits in children. This applies to small pinworm worms. They live in the rectum and usually crawl out onto the skin of the perineum at night, causing unbearable itching. Insomnia appears, the child becomes nervous and scratches the skin in this area. In girls, itching becomes even more common as pinworms crawl onto the external genital area.
Scratching caused by itching in the perineum and genital area leads to masturbation. That is why it is absolutely necessary to carefully treat helminthic diseases in order to maintain health and in order to prevent the occurrence of this bad habit. In addition to the use of anthelmintic treatment, great value has strict adherence to child hygiene. Clean hands, neatly trimmed nails, changing panties daily, boiling them and ironing them with a hot iron, washing the child before changing panties are no less important than the treatment prescribed by the doctor.
2. Prolonged loneliness of the child when he is left to his own devices and unsupervised. One example is indicative: a child under 3 years old was left alone unattended in a room where he was locked. Subsequently, when circumstances changed and the child was placed in best conditions, noticed that he was hiding, looking for privacy. It turned out that the child was masturbating. It will take a lot of patience and tact to overcome a bad habit.
3. Masturbation often occurs in children doomed to stay in bed for a long time(bed rest) with relatively good or just good general condition. This especially applies to children suffering from certain heart diseases, such as rheumatic heart disease, when they often keep the child in bed for a long time without sufficient reason, without even trying to occupy him with anything. Some parents unnecessarily pamper their children, keeping them in bed beyond measure, when this is not indicated by a doctor: after the flu, sore throat, runny nose.
However, you should also not go to the other extreme and not put the baby down when it is necessary in the interests of his health. While the child is in bed, watch him as carefully as we are used to doing with children on the street, in the park, in public places.
Advice for parents: what to do, how to deal with child masturbation, treatment
- To prevent the appearance child masturbation, make sure you follow the correct routine in general, and especially your sleep routine - go to bed strictly and always at the same time.
- Before bedtime, allow children only quiet games and walks in the fresh air; Noisy games and conversations, long reading, shows, including television, are unacceptable.
- Have dinner two hours before bedtime, without spicy foods, strong tea, strong coffee.
- Empty your bladder before going to bed.
- Sleep on a hard bed in a well-ventilated room.
- Make a long nightgown.
- When falling asleep, make sure that your child's hands are on top of the blanket or under his head.
- Make sure that in the morning the child does not lie in bed for a long time, but, upon waking up, gets up quickly. Always wake him up at the same time.
- After getting up, do morning exercises (even for little ones), then water procedures (rubbing or dousing). Cold water procedures, like all hardening activities, play a huge role in the prevention and treatment of childhood masturbation.
- For children suffering from masturbation, cancel naps during the day, replacing them with a walk in the air. Walking and playing outdoors is beneficial for all children, especially those suffering from masturbation. Take them out for walks in any weather.
- If the parents of a child suffering from masturbation teach him to do daily physical exercise, active games in the air, and older children to engage in sports, then in this way you can successfully overcome this habit. A healthy, cheerful, seasoned child will not engage in masturbation.
- A very important link in prevention and treatment of childhood masturbation- labor. Accustom your child to help around the house, achieve purposeful, properly organized work on preparing homework, always carried out at the same time. Keep such a child busy, give him various tasks (draw, cut, make something, and so on).
- Watch your speech, show restraint in conversations, do not say in the presence of a child what he is not supposed to know.
- Be delicate, tactful and modest in your intimate relationships so that the child does not witness what he should not observe and which, if not understood, can leave a traumatic mark on his child's psyche.
- Fighting masturbation, don't humiliate baby, don't yell at him or punish him.
- Don't sew for children visiting kindergarten, special clothing (for example, special tying panties, etc.). Such constant evidence of his vice leads to humiliating conversations and ridicule, which will further alienate the child from his peers. But the society of children, the team, cooperative games and activities that are useful to engage such a child in are one of the means of treating him.
Based on materials from the magazine “Family and School”, 1962
Hello, dear parents!
Today we will talk about a difficult, but exciting topic for many parents - child masturbation. What kind of phenomenon is this? Is it dangerous? And how to react?
The “Nature” of Child Masturbation
Today, medicine has an ambivalent approach to this topic. Some say that masturbation in childhood - this is a completely normal phenomenon, an indispensable component of a child’s development, which can manifest itself at an early age due to experienced excitement. This may occur accidentally: during sleep, while climbing on the playground, in response to physical irritation, during diaper rash, while studying own body child. Having once experienced such a sensation, the child may find it quite pleasant and will try to repeat it. And then the REASON for the appearance of this behavior becomes less significant, and FREQUENCY comes to the fore. Other experts consider this behavior dangerous, sometimes even a harbinger of a more serious mental disorder.There are several types of classifications of this phenomenon. Psychologists also decided to keep up: so, in their work D.N. Isaeva And V.E. Kagan “Psychohygiene of gender in children” indicated various types masturbation in children and adolescents, which is based on ideas about various mechanisms of masturbatory behavior. However, let’s not get scared ahead of time, but let’s figure out when and why this happens.
Infant masturbation
It occurs RARELY, precisely as behavior that can be called masturbatory. Visible in the 1st year of life, more often in girls. It is associated with brain dysfunctions, which may be a transient phase of development, but sometimes should be on the alert for more serious ones. brain disorders. Infant masturbation is expressed in various manipulations with the genitals - frequent touching, rubbing and other forms of mechanical irritation, during which the child, as a rule, experiences pleasure, blushes, breathes noisily, and breaks out in sweat.
Preschool masturbation
It may be a consequence of interest in oneself and how everything works; having experienced pleasant sensations, the child may strive to repeat them. Most often it happens in a situation where the child is left to his own devices and, importantly, does not have other, alternative forms of realizing his interests and receiving pleasure.Puberty-adolescent masturbation
During adolescence, masturbation becomes a widespread phenomenon. I.S. Con indicated that it increases in boys after 12 years, reaching its "peak" at 15 - 16 years old, when they do it 80-90% boys.Teen masturbation
Is a means of relieving sexual tension, caused by physiological reasons, including: overflow of the seminal vesicles, mechanical irritation of the genitals, etc. Along with this, there are also mental factors - the example of peers, the desire to test one’s potency, and have fun. It is often accompanied bright images, fantasies, often even the choice of very specific partners in your fantasies.
For mental disorders
Depending on their specificity, its manifestations are different:- Symptomatic. As a result of direct irritation of the genital or nearby areas due to infectious somatic diseases, most often helminthiasis, itchy dermatoses, as well as in the absence of necessary body hygiene.
- Frustration or Neurotic It occurs in preschool and school age, and is not directly related to sexual desire. For example, the child has a high level of demands at school, strict rules and prohibitions at home, additional education also associated with concentration and focus. A child needs to be disciplined, organized and concentrated everywhere. This is stressful for any child, and if your child also has choleric temperament, then masturbation acts as a “salvation.” It is the only release that relieves tension in the nervous system. A child, as a rule, after a “hard day” looks for opportunities to masturbate, not for sexual satisfaction, but as a way to relieve tension and discharge.
Sometimes masturbation begins in the first grade, when the child is in a constant state of stress, and orgasm brings him temporary relief, distracting him from threats emanating from the teacher, classmates, etc. Some children begin to slowly masturbate right in class: during a test, before going out to the board. However, children never engage in masturbation for show and it is important to know that if this does happen, then it is better to consult a psychiatrist.
Is it dangerous? Why are adults so scared?
Most often, masturbation is part of the cognitive process of oneself, one’s body, as well as an adaptive-compensatory mechanism for obtaining positive emotions and sensations during stress and other psychophysical and emotional uncomfortable conditions. Well, another function is sexual release in adolescence until the moment of finding an object of love and affection.On my own Masturbation is not dangerous if:
- it is not pretentious in nature with the use of foreign objects that could harm the child.
- if masturbation is episodic and is not obsessive in nature as an everyday ritual.
Despite quite a lot of information, most parents find the fact of their child “playing with the genitals” very alarming. A state of panic often prevents parents from reacting correctly to the appearance of child masturbation. What kind of fears overwhelm caring parents: “is he normal”, and “is it too early to do this”, and “will the child then be able to live a normal sex life”, and “won’t he (she) do harm there”? "somehow."
And it must be said most definitely that Harm here can ONLY be caused by the wrong reaction of adults. In case of AGGRESSIVE behavior of adults (ridiculing, intimidation, making it public, including among peers, anger, chasing a child, slapping hands and other parts) The baby may develop a connection between sexual sensations and fear and shame, which will have a very negative impact on his future. The shame surrounding everything related to gender and related organs can lead to the fact that, as a child grows older, he will not tell you about a situation that requires intervention (for example, about harassment by an adult or older child), after all, the baby will be even more afraid of the parents’ DISCONTENT related to the topic of sex and the body than a potential rapist. And this is deadly!
In the long term, this "Ostrich politics" will come back to haunt you with the inability to discuss certain intimate issues with your partner, not to mention the difficulties associated with the perception of your body as something dirty and shameful. Even more serious consequences of an inadequate response from adults can lead to improper formation of sexuality, expressed in reduced potency in men, and the absence or even arousal itself in women.
If a significant person for a child persistently convinces him that he has vicious inclinations, then sooner or later the child will try to justify such assumptions. If this behavior is ignored and parents try to pretend that everything is normal, the child can simply “GET USED” to this form of behavior as the only accessible and quick way to achieve a goal (relieving stress, for example).
What to do?
The correct perception and reaction of parents, as we have discussed, when discovering the fact of a child’s masturbation is of much greater importance than the fact of this phenomenon itself.Psychologists suggest adhering to a few simple principles:
- the appearance of masturbation as a phenomenon of cognition should not cause caution - its consolidation and increase in the facts of repetitions should prompt an analysis of the reasons;
- a strict ban on masturbation can only stimulate interest in it and its use;
- you should not make the topic of masturbation significant in the family circle;
- there is no reason to perceive childhood masturbation and arousal as identical to adult sexual arousal, especially at an early age;
- You should not encourage your child to use masturbation (show films, programs promoting this, and also create the ground by excessive caresses of an adult, kissing the groin area, buttocks, tickling, as well as close, noisy violent games before bedtime).
- Calmly and calmly, using medical, physiological language, explain to your child that these are intimate organs and excessive touching or stimulation of them is unhygienic and can damage the delicate structure of the tissue (without intimidation!!!);
- It is also important to explain to the child that this is very intimate and cannot happen in public places if the child tries to do this, for example, while climbing on the playground, which happens quite often!
- Be sure to monitor the child’s hygiene so as not to provoke an additional reason in the form of itching;
- Provide timely medical care to the child in case of specific diseases;
- Pay attention and analyze (in what situations or after what events this is most likely to happen), think about possible alternatives. How can you relieve emotional stress in other, more socially acceptable ways and unobtrusively offer them to the child (increasing physical activity, for example, in the form of training, walks, etc.).
Summarizing all of the above
Early childhood masturbation Usually it is caused by NON-SEXUAL reasons, since puberty has not yet begun and the level of sex hormones is not so high as to force the child to discharge himself. There is no need to look for “depravity” in a child, fight “bad inclinations,” be ashamed, etc. On the contrary, if childhood masturbation caused you a strong reaction and similar thoughts, then perhaps you rather than the child need help in acquiring an adequate attitude towards the body and its vital functions. So you need not to scare him and yourself with the consequences, punish, worry and fantasize about a possible negative future, but try to calm down, follow the above recommendations or seek more thoughtful help from a pediatrician and child psychologist.
Be attentive to yourself and your children!
Sincerely, child psychologist, ava-therapist Vorobyova Lyudmila
([email protected])
Pathological habits in children
The most common pathological habits in children preschool age are habits such assucking objects, thumb sucking, nail biting, masturbation (masturbation). Painful desires are less common in preschoolers pull out or pluck hair(trichotillomania) and rhythmichead shaking and torso (yactation). The basis of pathological habits is the fixation of certain actions. In order to help children get rid of pathological habits, parents and teachers need, first of all, to understand the nature of these habits.
It is known that Pathological habits reduce the child’s negative emotional experiences (dissatisfaction, conflicting feelings towards people close to the child) and help relieve emotional stress.The fixation of pathological habits is also helped by the feeling of pleasure that the child experiences and the increased attention of surrounding adults to these actions of the child.
It must be remembered thatwhen pathological habits are suppressed, the child’s feeling of internal tension increases.Moreover, having suppressed one habit in a preschool child, we immediately get another in return. A particular difficulty lies in the fact that in most cases, preschoolers do not have the desire to overcome pathological habits; moreover, there is often active resistance to adults’ attempts to eliminate actions that are familiar and pleasant for the child (the understanding of pathological habits as negative appears in the child only towards the end of preschool age) . Along with the general features, pathological habitual actions have characteristics inherent in each of them, and therefore, ways to overcome them.
Masturbation in a small child. What to do?
Your baby is growing up, and then one day you notice that your son or daughter is touching his genitals. What is this? Natural childhood curiosity or a pathological habit - masturbation (masturbation)?
Typically, between the ages of 2-3 and 5-6 years, children begin to become interested in learning about the differences between the female and male bodies. They look at naked children and adults with interest, but the sensations of their own body are no less interesting to them. Children often play with their genitals, touching them, fiddling with them, scratching them... The interest here is purely educational! But, if the sensations that the child experiences become the dominant source of positive emotions for him, then he begins to resort to stimulation of the genital organs constantly, resulting in masturbation.
At 2-3 years old, the baby still does not understand what masturbation is, does not know that touching himself and others in some places is considered indecent, so at this age it is too early to talk about masturbation. Masturbation is a way of self-satisfaction, when a child brings himself to emotional release (before bed, hiding in a secluded place) and does it regularly, then you can talkabout pathological habit. In an open form, noticeable to adults, this habit occurs in 5% of boys and 3% of girls of preschool age (according to A.I. Zakharov).
If a child is easily distracted from looking at and feeling his body parts, openly asks questions (for example, about the structure of the body, the difference between a man and a woman, between a girl and a woman), his behavior and normal sleep are not disturbed, then this is a natural step in development psyche, knowledge of the surrounding world and oneself. A surge of such interest occurs between the ages of 3 and 6 years, then subsides until adolescence. In this situation, it is enough for parents to behave tactfully, not to shame for natural curiosity, and to answer children's questions.
Prerequisites for the occurrence of masturbation
Physiological.
Active, indomitable temperament (choleric) and, as a consequence, an increased need to relieve mental stress.
If a girl does not like to play with dolls, she prefers to be friends with boys; if the boy has clearly expressed boyish behavior traits.
Psychological.
Incorrect upbringing, when a child feels unwanted, unloved, lonely: excessive severity, restriction of activity, a large number of prohibitions, physical punishment (especially spanking on the butt, spanking with a belt). This bothers and torments him so much that he tries to distract himself to compensate for the loneliness. If at this moment a child accidentally discovers that masturbation drowns out his anxiety and makes life more enjoyable, then he will consciously engage in it.
Problems of emotional contact with parents: lack of affection, attention, positive emotions, early separation from the mother (when the child is sent to a nursery early, the mother goes to work and entrusts the care of the baby to another adult).Sensitivity to separation from mother. The child withdraws into himself as a sign of protest and looks for a way to discharge himself.Such children hide their feelings, emotions, experiences, and often live in their own imaginary world.
A second child appears in the family, and the eldest feels unwanted and unloved.
Force feeding also contributes to the occurrence of masturbation. When parents are at war with the baby, they push him, forcing him to eat everything. This only causes aversion to food. And if the child does not experience pleasure from eating, then other sensitive areas of the body are activated. The mucosal area of the lips and mouth is connected to the genital area. If the first one is “silent”, then the second one is excited. (according to A.I. Zakharov). The baby begins to touch the genitals. If you continue to force feed your baby, he will continue to discharge. The habit is fixed for a long time.
Psychological infection - adults often take the child into bed, caress them too much, kiss them on the lips, or are too careful about their hygiene (frequent washing, etc.). Imitation of elders - if the child saw in a movie, accidentally saw parents, or older children with increased sexual interest.
Clinical.
Manifestation of neuropathy – sleep disorder, trouble falling asleep- leads to the accumulation of anxiety, which is thus eliminated.
What else can provoke the appearance of masturbation?
The only child in the familyisolated from children's society.
High emotionality of the child.
Increased excitability.
Physical punishment (spanking, spanking) promotes a rush of blood to the genital area, involuntarily sexually arousing the child.
Pregnancy pathologies, unwanted pregnancy.
When parents wanted a child of one gender, but “it turned out” - another.
Excessive adherence to principles by parents.
Impulsiveness, lack of restraint of the father.
Mother's coldness.
Neglect or, conversely, too careful adherence to hygiene standards;
Excessive wrapping, tight clothing.
Poor hygiene, excessively tight clothing, itching in the genital area due to diathesis, worms, and diaper rash lead to the appearance of specific sensations and the desire to cause them.
You suddenly caught your child masturbating
First of all, if you suddenly find your child masturbating, there is no need to faint or scream or stomp your feet.
Resilience and tact are required. If this small child, then try to calmly, without emotions, switch his attention to something else.
You also need to behave calmly with a school-age child and talk about this when he is able to listen to you. But, under no circumstances scold or intimidate your child!
Reassure him, convince him that you want to help him, that you do not judge him, that this will not affect your love for him.
After the first shock has passed, a trusting relationship with the child has been established, try to understand why the child is engaged in masturbation?
rubdown
How to avoid consolidation of masturbation?
And how to help a child?
So, first of all, find out the reason for the habit.
Do not shame, punish, or scold under any circumstances. Do not attach undue importance to masturbation. Your threats to your baby are worse than masturbation. It is they, and not masturbation, that can cripple a child’s future.
You don’t even have to talk to your child about this topic, But radically change educational methods, relationship with the baby.
Give your child more freedom and the opportunity to act independently.
Praise often.
The atmosphere in the family should be calm and friendly.
If a child wants to run or jump, do not hold him back, but, on the contrary, provide him with physical activity (outdoor walks, sports or dance class).
Encourage your child to express feelings and emotions; if he does not know how to adequately respond to negative emotions, teach him.
Communicate more often on neutral topics, avoiding lectures and lectures.
Treat prickly heat, diathesis, helminthic diseases in a timely manner; urological and gynecological diseases.
Clothes should be clean, loose, and not chafing. Tight clothing can constantly put pressure on the genitals or irritate them during movement. A child, experiencing discomfort from such clothing, will constantly adjust it, unzip it, and be forced to touch the genitals.
Do not frighten your child with the terrible consequences of his “dirty” actions! This will lead to the emergence of an inferiority complex, which in the future will result in problems with understanding one’s body, problems with sex in adulthood.
Do not humiliate the child by questioning, examining, or discussing this topic in front of strangers.
As soon as you notice that your child is showing interest in gender differences, explain them to him. At the same time, remember that at the age of 2.5 - 4 years the child does not need details. Just tell him that the urinary organs of girls and boys are different, so that in the future he will not show increased interest in this topic. If you do not explain this to him, then he himself will search for answers to his questions (which he may not ask out loud). After all, there are numerous cases of children demonstrating their genitals in kindergartens (the toilet is shared!).
It is best to teach your child to sleep on his side, placing both palms under his cheek. Some babies like to sleep on their stomach. This is also a safe position in terms of possible masturbation. But if a child prefers to sleep on his back, then it is best to teach him to put his hands on top of the blanket, without explaining the real reason, but by coming up with some plausible explanation.
If you are helping a preschool child wash, you should not rub the genitals with a hard washcloth, nor gently touch or stroke them. Treat them like an ordinary part of the body, then the child will treat them the same.
Teach your child to play and have fun. In other words, it is important to teach your baby so that even when left alone, he can independently occupy himself with something interesting (besides masturbation).
Review your diet (less sweet, spicy, salty).
It is necessary to distract the child with a more pleasant and interesting activity, expanding the range of interests and communication with peers. It is necessary to increase activity in movements, in ways of expressing feelings and to include in the child’s life health activities aimed at increasing the sense of the body: bathing, dousing,
Seek help from a neurologist.
Remember! Masturbation is a way of release nervous tension. If you cope with the tension, masturbation will “go away.”
Love your child!Most often, masturbation affects children in orphanages, who are not needed by anyone, are not loved by anyone, and do not have the opportunity to express themselves. Draw a conclusion!!!
What if the problem remains...?
If, nevertheless, the child does not stop masturbating until the age of 8–10 years, be sure to consult a child psychiatrist or sex therapist. Often at this age, masturbation may be due to the influence of sexually preoccupied adults or adolescents with mental disorders.
The need for masturbation may also be due to the child’s increased hypersexuality or premature psychosexual development.
Many children are not able to cope with their hypersexuality on their own. And since the satisfaction of sexual desire is pleasant to him, and dissatisfaction, on the contrary, causes mental discomfort and unpleasant sensations, he strives to please himself as best he can. At this age, the child is not able to understand the consequences of early formed libido in the form of surrogate forms.
It is absolutely useless to “scare” a child in such cases.
You should know that manifestations of premature psychosexual development can and should be treated. If this violation is not corrected in time, the child will form a stable stereotype of surrogate realization of sexual desire.
In conclusion, we notethat the greater the parents’ desire to remove, eliminate the external attribute of the problem- be it thumb sucking, object sucking, nail biting or masturbation (masturbation),the less likely it is to eliminate the cause of the habit. In the prevention of pathological habitsnormalization of family relationships, a gentle and even attitude towards the child, satisfaction of his need for emotional warmth and affection are of great importance,systematic health and physical education activities, development of creativity.
Pathological habits must be treated with due attention. Only then will the child’s situation change in the desired direction.
References:
Alekseeva E.E. Pathological habits in children. // Bad habits. URL: http://adalin.mospsy.ru/l_03_00/l0301190.shtml.
Vinogradova E. A. “Bad habits. Little tips for parents." M., St. Petersburg 2006.
Sviridenko E. V. Childhood masturbation: what is the reason and what to do? // Baby's health. URL: http://www.mama23.ru/articl/cat-10.html.
Shirokova G.A., Zhadko E.G. Masturbation in childhood. // // Bad habits. URL: http://adalin.mospsy.ru/l_03_00/l0301190.shtml.
Probably, thumb sucking and nail biting are nothing compared to another pathological habit that may lie in wait for you and your baby. This morning he asked to come to your bed, and very tenderly, trustingly, pressing his whole body against you, he began to hug and kiss. You felt so pleased and good that you didn’t want to attach any significance to it. But during the day... You realized that you had made a mistake by accidentally catching him playing... playing with his genitals. Moreover, the baby not only was not afraid, but very sincerely asked you who he really is, in fact... is he a boy or a girl, although he knows perfectly well who he is.
You were so shocked and shocked that you couldn’t answer him. How can this be assessed? What is this? Game, fun, ridicule or basic debauchery? You missed something in the baby. How to get out of this situation? Take him and punish him, so that he remembers him forever, or calmly explain him correctly... But how can he explain this correctly when he is a baby, barely three years old? Three years... but I thought of this... And you, unable to bear it, screamed, even remembering how in the morning he tenderly caressed you in bed...
You lost your temper, but made a grave pedagogical mistake in relation to him, instilling in him that he was playing this way on purpose, and that he is a very bad child.
No, not bad. At three years old, your baby is simply not yet mature enough to engage in masturbation. He unconsciously, while playing, irritates the genitals. He doesn't know that there is any sexual satisfaction there. He is driven only by curiosity and curiosity. Even before he was a year old, he began the path of an explorer, exploring all parts of the body, and is still studying them all. But if earlier he simply noted that this is a pen and this is a leg, now he wants to compare them with other people’s body parts. And at the age of three he cannot understand that there are “forbidden” places on the body that cannot be explored. And if we also remind him of this, then his curiosity intensifies, and he tries to figure out why this organ is “forbidden” than others, involuntarily focusing his attention on it, which can become a pathological habit.
In addition, from the age of three, a child often experiences a romantic feeling of love for his parents, and sometimes a feeling somewhat reminiscent of sexual desire. But this is not a perversion, this is the norm, one of the many stages in the development of a healthy child. Moreover, physical attraction to relatives is an everyday occurrence and does not conceal any oversight, because it is so nice to cuddle up to a loved one. The kid does everything without second thoughts. He is pure and considers everything around him pure. But our sex education, or rather complete absence it can give rise to excessive bias from this purity and turn the natural into the unlawful, thereby generating interest. When you can't, you want to try. And the children try...
But if by the age of three the child still does not understand what he did wrong, then at the age of six he is already ashamed and sincerely wants to break the habit of the bad habit. Therefore, when suddenly you suddenly find a baby playing with his genitals, there is no need to faint. Endurance is required. Calmly, without emotion, but sternly explain to the baby that this is ugly and should not be done, that he is already big and should play other games. And if your child is healthy, then this disapproval is quite enough for him to switch his interest to please you.
So, at three years old, the baby still does not understand what masturbation is, and because of this, he cannot engage in it. But very often, without realizing it, we ourselves create the preconditions for masturbation in him in the future. And the main one of these prerequisites is again incorrect upbringing, when the child feels that he is not needed and, moreover, unloved. And this torments him so much that he tries to distract himself and looks for a way of distraction as compensation for everything. And if at this time he accidentally discovers that masturbation drowns out anxiety and makes his life more pleasant, the child will engage in it consciously in order to evoke more positive emotions and forget his adversities against the background of them.
When the baby does not feel affection and warmth and is vulnerable to separation, and the mother does everything to be separated from him, and even enrolls the baby not just in kindergarten, but in a 24-hour group, he withdraws into himself as a sign of protest and looks for a way to unwind. He searches... and finds.
Only children are especially vulnerable and sensitive. They have no brothers and sisters with whom they can communicate. And they have to depend on the mood of their parents. And the mood can be different. Quite often - not very good, and this - ricochets on the child. When your child has an active temperament, he immediately looks for a new outlet. In general, as a rule, release through masturbation is more typical of active children; “hoarders” simply suck their fingers.
Another reason for masturbation is when the baby suffers after learning that a child of the opposite sex was expected at home. He is a boy, but daddy needs a girl...
And even your forced feeding is the cause of this pathological habit, especially when parents fight with the baby, and push and pour into him what is necessary and not necessary, only causing an aversion to food. Remember, when a child does not experience pleasure from food, one of the most sensitive areas of the body turns off. And this zone - the mucous membrane of the lips and mouth - although reflexively, is connected with another sensitive zone - the genital one. And if the mouth area is “silent,” then the genital area is excited, and this worries the baby. He begins to touch the genitals and feels how the excitement is relieved. You continue to force feed the baby, he continues to discharge. The habit is fixed for a long time.
Itching in the genital area is possible when the baby has exudative diathesis, diaper rash, worms, when you wrap him up too much and put tight clothes on him.
A child's genitals can become irritated when hygiene requirements are not followed or when you teach him too carefully to observe them, which leads to the appearance of specific sensations and the desire to cause them.
And even physical punishment (spanking and flogging) contributes to a rush of blood to the baby’s genital area, involuntarily sexually arousing. Excessively sweet and very rich meat foods with a small amount of water drunk, causing itching in the genital area, often also cause masturbation.
Quite often, young children “imitate” older children with increased sexual interest. Such cases of “imitation” sometimes “infect” entire children’s groups.
However, whatever the reason, masturbation is a way of relieving nervous tension. And if suddenly it appears in your child, look for where the sources of tension are. Do not attach undue importance to masturbation. This is not something out of the ordinary that ruins the baby’s life. Therefore, there is no need to intimidate him. Your threats are often worse than masturbation. It is they, and not the pathological habit itself, that can cripple a child’s future.
How parents SHOULD behave with a child who engages in masturbation:
- Find the cause and eliminate it.
- Do not subject to interrogation or inspection.
- Do not shame, especially in front of strangers.
- Do not scold or intimidate under any circumstances.
- Try to give your child maximum attention.
- Adjust his diet.
- Allow you to wear loose clothing.
- In your daily routine, focus on water procedures and walks in the fresh air.
- Create an opportunity to communicate with peers.
- Love and understand!
Conversations with a psychologist
Masturbation in a small child. What to do?
Your baby is growing up, and then one day you notice that your son or daughter is touching his genitals. What is this? Natural childhood curiosity or a pathological habit - masturbation (masturbation)?
If a child is easily distracted from looking at and feeling his body parts, openly asks questions (for example, about the structure of the body, the difference between a man and a woman, between a girl and a woman), his behavior and normal sleep are not disturbed, then this is a natural step in development psyche, knowledge of the surrounding world and oneself. A surge of such interest occurs between the ages of 3 and 6 years, then subsides until adolescence. In this situation, it is enough for parents to behave tactfully, not to shame for natural curiosity, and to answer children's questions.
But if such child behavior is normal and even looking at children of the opposite sex is considered completely acceptable, what then is considered masturbation? When does the norm turn into pathology?
Let's start with the fact that at 2-3 years old the baby still does not understand what masturbation is, does not know that touching himself and others in some places is considered indecent, so at this age it is too early to talk about masturbation. Masturbation is a way of self-satisfaction, when a child brings himself to emotional release (before bed, hiding in a secluded place) and does it regularly, then we can talk about a pathological habit.
In an open form, noticeable to adults, this habit occurs in 5% of boys and 3% of girls of preschool age (according to A.I. Zakharov).
Prerequisites for the occurrence of masturbation
Physiological.
Psychological.
Clinical.
The manifestation of neuropathy - sleep disorder, poor sleep - leads to the accumulation of anxiety, which is thus eliminated. Excessive wrapping, tight clothing.
What else can provoke the appearance of masturbation?
How to help a child?
First of all, find out the reason for the habit (see above).
Do not shame, punish, or scold under any circumstances.
You don’t even have to talk to your child about this topic, but you can radically change your educational methods and your relationship with your child.
Give your child more freedom and the opportunity to act independently.
Praise often.
The atmosphere in the family should be calm and friendly.
If a child wants to run or jump, do not hold him back, but, on the contrary, provide him with physical activity (outdoor walks, sports or dance class).
Communicate more often on neutral topics, avoiding lectures and lectures.
Treat prickly heat, diathesis, helminthic diseases in a timely manner; urological and gynecological diseases.
Clothes should be clean, loose, and not chafing.
Do not frighten your child with the terrible consequences of his “dirty” actions! This will lead to the emergence of an inferiority complex, which in the future will result in problems with understanding one’s body, problems with sex in adulthood.
Do not humiliate the child by questioning, examining, or discussing this topic in front of strangers.
Review your diet (less sweet, spicy, salty).
Seek help from a neurologist and psychologist, they will help you find the cause and develop a set of measures.
Remember! Masturbation is a way to relieve nervous tension. If you cope with the tension, masturbation will “go away.”
Love your child! Most often, masturbation affects children in orphanages, who are not needed by anyone, are not loved by anyone, and do not have the opportunity to express themselves. Draw a conclusion!!!
